So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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