Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize