there was a trapeze. enough said
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
