There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize