I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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