Can i not drive my cunt home
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
