What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize