is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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