You're my little dorito
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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