New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
