Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize