I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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