i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
