Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
