Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
