ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
porn star boner night. come get it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
