I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
