I showed him my bush... on skype.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
