Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
