Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
