I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
