You can't motorboat a personality
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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