You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize