Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
