I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Such a big mess for such a small penis
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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