i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
