i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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