Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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