It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
