How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
