Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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