I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize