The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
