hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
