I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize