My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
