Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
