white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize