How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
