Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize