she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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