Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
