he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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