ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
