I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
