I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
