No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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