I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
