how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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