I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
