Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
