we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
its liver damage thursday
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