It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
