I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize