we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
