I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
