whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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