Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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