I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
