I think i peed on brittanys purse
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
