do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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