Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize