we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
