Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
