You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
