I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
