think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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